The vast majority of French verbs use auxiliary avoir followed by a past participle to indicate an action in the past, e.g.: J'ai mangé une pomme ("I ate an apple"). However, most verbs that describe "coming" and "going" use être instead. In order to master the rules of standard written French, you need to familiarize yourself with these "intransitive" verbs (i.e.: verbs not followed directly be a noun).
Let's starts with the most frequent ones that you can remember with the following word expression raven stamp: rester, aller, venir, entrer, naître, sortir tomber, arriver, mourir, partir, (and related forms with a prefix, like revenir, rentrer and devenir). For example,
In addition, the verbs monter, descendre, passer, retourner are used with être when not followed directly by a noun, e.g.:
But ...
So, when the person is undergoing the movement, use être. However, if it is an object that undergoes the movement, use avoir. This reflects the general tendancy that participles followed by nouns do not show agreement.
Finally, all pronominal verbs (i.e.: those that must appear with me, te, se, etc.) always form their past with être, e.g.:
Note that when you use compound tenses other than the passé composé, use the same auxiliaries as indicated above, e.g.: J'y serais allé, j'avais compris, j'étais déjà parti.
You can find information here about anglicisms invovling the use of être instead of avoir.
Q: Why is it je suis allé and NOT j'ai allé?
The verb aller forms its passé composé with être, not with avoir.
Q: Why is it je me suis couché and NOT je m'ai couché?
In addition to verbs like aller, venir, sortir, etc., pronominal verbs (those that are always preceded by a pronoun like me, te, se) also use être when used in the passé composé or some other past tense. The most common of these verbs are se coucher, se promener, se laver, se brosser.
Q: Why is it elle est partie and NOT elle est parti?
When the auxiliary verb is être, the past participle must show agreement with feminine and plural subjects.
Q: Why is it j'ai monté la valise and NOT je suis monté la valise?
The auxiliary être is only used with monter when the subject undergoes the verbal action (here it is the object, valise, that undergoes the action).
Avoir ou Être? (il faut aussi conjuguer le verbe)
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